DOA: Dead or Alive

Playing out like a fourteen year old schoolboys wet dream, DOA (to use it's nom de jour) is the movie adaptation of the massively successful beat 'em up cum boob simulator videogame. As a genre, this hasn't exactly been cinema's finest hour. With the disappointing Mortal Kombat and frankly appalling Street Fighter as stable mates, can DOA reign victorious?

Well, not really. Like the aforementioned attempts at translation to the big screen, this is ninety minutes of laughably bad trash movie making. Catch it in the right frame of mind however, and it does at times manage to achieve the hallowed status of "so bad it's good!". Crap dialogue, gratuitous female close-ups, and "I've just learnt how to act" performances at least serve to make this a memorable cinematic outing. Even if it is for all the wrong reasons.

Director Corey Yuen is no stranger to the martial arts movie, but the complete one-dimensionality of the source material is ultimately what lets him down. He deserves credit though for embracing DOA's videogame roots. This shows in a number of devices from character intro sequences, signature moves in fight scenes, garish sets, and (of course) gratuitous exploitation of the young female casts assets. Tongue is firmly in cheek here, which ensures proceedings are bad but bearable.

Sadly the biggest let down are the fight sequences. The second big selling point of the game (after excessively bouncy girls bits) is each character employs a different fighting style. Unfortunately with the movie, Holly Vallance, Devon Aoki, and Sarah Carter all look like they were trained by the same instructor. It's up to Jamie Pressly and her pro-wrestling character Tina to add variety to the action, which she does admirably. Fans of martial arts will be disappointed, but fans of the game will no doubt take pleasure in the many high kicks performed in tiny skirts.

DOA fails to KO the audience in the way it wanted; but when a movie has a fight scene featuring Holly Valance in a bath towel, can we really say it was a complete failure?

Noir Heaven?

Adapted from a James Ellroy novel, De Palma's The Black Dahlia takes us back to Hollywood's golden age when film noir was king of the screen. Set against the backdrop of a grisly real life murder -that still remains unsolved- we follow the fictional tale of LA cops Bleichert (Josh Hartnett) and Blanchard (Aaron Eckhart), and girl in the middle Kay Lake (Scarlett Johansson).

It takes a while to engage with the movie, but once the opening thirty minutes is over we have a good handle on the principle characters and their relationship. Cops Bleichert and Blanchard are paired up working warrants, and it's not long before they come across the horribly mutilated corpse of young aspiring actress Elizabeth Short, nicknamed the black dahlia. Very quickly Blanchard looses himself in the case, obsessed with cracking it.

For all the intrigue and real life mystery surrounding the case, the story chooses to largely ignore this and instead spin us a well trodden yarn of corruption in 1940's LA. The murder is really little more than a backdrop for most of the movie's runtime, and it's the three way relationship of the principle characters that takes centre stage.

Performances are very good all round; the cops are interesting characters, and for the most part narration by Hartnett works well. Scarlett has the perfect look for film noir, but for some inexplicable reason spends all her time in a beige cardigan.

Perhaps the movie's greatest achievement is reminding us how rich a genre film noir is; readily bringing to mind a score of movies from Hollywood's golden age. Visually it captures the mood of the period well, and is further aided by plenty of nods to conventions of the genre. Dialogue has enough classic lines to get you grinning, but lacks consistency; some clunky utterances conspire to spoil your enjoyment.

It is well into the movie before investigation of the murder resumes in earnest. By this point there is scant runtime left, and we are thrown a convoluted and confusing mess of exposition, attempting to neatly tie the separate threads together. Sadly a lot of it comes off as unbelievable and -in the case of the murder- almost laughable.

Not the Oscar contender everyone was expecting. The Black Dahlia is mixed, confusing, and ultimately underwhelming story telling.

Volver

Highly praised at Cannes earlier this year, Volver (meaning 'to return') is Spanish director Pedro Almodovar's latest work. Set around La Mancha -the area in which he grew up- it is a personal movie about the bond shared between women. The ever beautiful Penelope Cruz leads a strong Spanish cast, that also marks the return of Carmen Maura to an Almodovar picture.

After her lecherous father drunkenly tries to abuse her, young Paula (Yohana Cobo) accidentally stabs him in the struggle. Mother Raimunda (Cruz) wastes no time in helping her distraught daughter, by disposing of the body and covering up the absence of her now late husband. Whilst occupied with such clandestine activity, Raimunda's sister Sole is left to attend a family funeral, only to discover something completely unexpected: their mother has returned. Their dead mother.

At it's heart this is a movie about the strong bond between women, especially the mother-daughter relationship. It's an all woman show, where tragic events in life (and the movie serves up plenty) are handled through female resourcefulness, strength of character, and the support of one another. The female characters are portrayed superbly by the cast. Cruz giving perhaps the best performance of her career to date; believably conveying the complex emotional challenges faced by Raimunda.

Prosthetic arse? It seems the only part of Cruz's performance that needed assistance, was portraying the distinctive La Mancha rump. Almodovar has a clear fondness and appreciation of the female form, reflected in many perfectly framed shots that lovingly accentuate feminine curves. Cruz is simply enchanting to watch, with scenes in the restaurant particular standouts. There is a colour and vibrancy to the movie that makes watching it a visual joy.

Amongst the life of working class Madrid, Almodovar seamlessly weaves a tale of suspense, superstition, and soap opera drama. There are moments when the latter threatens to unbalance the piece, teetering on the edge of melodrama, but such concerns ultimately prove unwarranted. There is also plenty of genuine humor throughout the movie, despite the emotional weight of what unfolds. The different threads are pulled together nicely, and while the ending may strike as a little haphazard, it is the ideal place at which to leave Raimunda and is perfectly fitting.

Volver is an engaging and beautiful piece of Spanish cinema, from a director at the height of his artistic power. A treat for any fan of cinema, but clearly one that will resonate strongest with a female audience.

The Sentinel

Like leaving a restaurant and still feeling hungry, coming home from the cinema and immediately needing to watch a DVD* is a sure sign something was fundamentally lacking.

The Sentinel is a thriller about a mole inside the Presidential Secret Service. Long serving Pete Garrison (Michael Douglas) comes under suspicion, and it's up to fellow agent and former friend David Breckinridge (Kiefer Sutherland) to track him down and find out the truth. On paper it sounds much like any other thriller cinema or TV has given us over the years; but these types of movie don't have to be original to be entertaining and fun. Sadly, director Clark Johnson has aimed for mediocrity, and missed. Spectacularly.

It's almost inconceivable, but he has somehow managed to sap all trace of peril, tension, or excitement from each and every scene. Events that should be fraught with a heightened sense of danger, are bland and boring. How the hell has he managed it!? You would think a small element of fun and entertainment would slip through, but no. Some combination of fluke, and lack of skill has conspired to deprive us even of that.

Ironically it starts out really well. The opening sequence gives us a fetishistically detailed look at the back stage machinations that go into even the simplest of Presidential appearances. Plenty of codewords and radio chatter, sniper rifles and men with big binoculars; it's the kind of escapist stuff cinema was made for. Garrison and Breckinridge are quickly introduced, their relationship nicely established. Follow this with an unexpected assassination of a Secret Service man, and you honestly think it'll be a good ride; but these opening fifteen minutes are the only ones that work.

Trying to pinpoint the cause for such crushing disappointment is an almost impossible task. Douglas looks like he faxed in his performance whilst on a break from acting. Sutherland, famed for his tough Jack Bauer persona in 24, is given a character so "by the book" you long for him to pin someone against the wall, poke a Microtech Halo in his face and scream "Damn it! Tell me who the mole is or I will kill you!". The story is poorly constructed; the bad guys barely able to pass as one-dimensional. This is made all the more inexcusable when you realise one of the writers has seminal eighties cop thriller To Live and Die in L.A to his name!

Don't let the casting of Kiefer Sutherland and thoughts of 24 lure you in. The Sentinel is uniformly dull; a thriller that doesn't thrill.

(*For those who care to know, it was Ridley Scott's 1989 thriller Black Rain. Arguably one of the finest contemporary movies of that decade, and still criminally overlooked. It too stars Micheal Douglas; though in this one he's actually bloody good, and clearly at a point in his career when he cared about his acting.)